I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
