her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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