i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
