carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
