He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
