When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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