He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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