Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
