can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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