If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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