What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I am one with the molecules
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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