wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
