we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
