oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
