I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
