How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
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He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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