what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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