another moral hangover. fuck.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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