I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Of course I have a pirate flag
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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