I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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