I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize