The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
There are leaves in my underwear?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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