She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
