I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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