Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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