i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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