It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Houston, we have a squirter
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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