My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
