my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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