There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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