Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
