Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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