he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
