sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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