I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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