I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
