somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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