I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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