Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
