So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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