I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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