i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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