dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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