You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
