We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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