Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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