I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize