dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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