I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize