You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
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We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
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i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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