if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize