i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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