So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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