I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Me too!
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
