What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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