i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
