id be glad to
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
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I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
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It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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