billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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