no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Floor bacon is actually really good
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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