Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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