TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
