So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
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Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
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There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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