he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
