im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
