1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
thus making me awesome and them whores
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
