she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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